At the risk of sounding trite...
"Wow. My first journal entry on this site."
Yes, I just had to get that out. I mean, it's pretty obvious that this is indeed my first journal entry, but it is just something to say, I suppose. Wow. I'm nervous, and I don't know why. Probably because I know that tons of people will most likely be reading this...at least, for a while. I could get incredibly boring and just talk about first journal entries and how nervous I am and make people not want to read this anymore. So I won't. Right? *grin*
Hopefully, this homepage will turn out to be a little better than mediocre. Don't get me wrong--my last one was great, (thanks to Josh who designed it for me) but it was time for change. I even added frames this time. Ooh! Thanks for your help, Mike.
Vagary is the theme of this journal, which means a sudden change. I chose this theme because of my extremely capricious life. That is the last time I am going to say what that word means, because I dont like repeating myself, and people should have enough sense to start from the beginning. *half-hearted smile* Sigh. I have had so much on my mind lately. Saying that I have a heavy heart is definitely an understatement, but I'll get through it. Although my life has been somewhat reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition for the past two months, it too, shall pass. I just have to keep telling myself that. But trying to keep positive constantly is hard. Thankfully I have had extremely supportive friends throughout the ordeal, who took care of me, who made sure I wasn't feeling too shitty. Wait, can I say that on here? Oh well, I just did. Of course there were the folks that just did not understand, who thought I was just taking advantage of the situation just to get attention, but they aren't important. I mean, the LAST thing I wanted was to have attention drawn to me. I hated being pitied. Vilification of character definitely is hard on one's self-esteem, but I couldn't stand it when everyone crowded around me, treating me as though I was some famous and notable person.
Well, although this is typical, I have to talk about my parents who are complete martinets, who watch my every move and try to hold my hand through everything. I mean...I am not saying that I am the most mature person in the world, but I am pretty autonomous, so I wish they'd just let go a little. "Argh, let go mom and dad, I'm not a little girl anymore." I know they only want the best for me, but sometimes it just gets so over-bearing. But that is probably the least of my troubles. Hmm, is it petty and stupid to talk about how vexatious my parents are? At least they care for me, and that's what matters...right? Hmm. Yeah.
One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is when I express myself to somebody with the utmost sincerity, telling them what I think about something, and all I get is a one word response. You know? It's kind of...disappointing. I'm not mad, it is just so annoying...and yes, this happened recently. The word wasn't even multi-syllabic. And yeah I know, I shouldn't be picky, but I am such a wordsmith...and yes I am quite verbose (you could probably tell already) but I am passionate...so is a good response too much to ask? Am I too demanding?! Well, I suppose everybody has their own idiosyncrasies. And besides...I've forgiven this person already, even if they don't know it. Heh.
I think that's enough for now. I'll probably update this thing once every two days or so, so please come back...that is, if you want. *grin* Ciao.
Love,
Joanna

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